Sabtu, 06 November 2010

well, yeah...

currently I feel totally messed up...

i let my clothes scattered around the floor, i'm so lazy to tidy up my bed, and i don't even care with the dusty air that might irritate my respiration (well, i'm not the well-organized one but believe me, i like to be more tidy than this).

i don't care with my appearance. i wear unmatched clothes, shoes, and veils. i had thrown out my soft lens and use my thick minus 4-glasses. i forget to apply skin moisturizer every day. i don't wash my face. i don't have any face powder to lighten up my oily look. my haircut has lost its shape (and sometimes i let it uncombed). i eat a lot and gain more weight. i feel so ugly right now. and i don't even have a mirror to reflect my ugly feature.

and i hate it most when i could clearly hear men's voice in my boarding house in the middle of the night (and still heard them in the next morning--> for God's sake it's LADIES boarding house!). i hate it when i unintentionally see a dog walking around and barking in front of my door (who the hell brought an animal to this house???). i hate to lose my pail. and i hate to listen somebody's singing Katy Perry's song with a broken tone. .


i hate going back to bandung.

i hate going back to bandung and feel all alone.


gosh... i complain too much. i know i'm so damn lucky compared to those Merapi refugees. i know i should express my deep condolences and pray for them instead of blurting out my bad feelings. i'm sorry. i'm messed up.


I curse myself for this.

3 komentar:

tyas mengatakan...

arress....sedih bacanya...
jadi masih dikosan cisitu baru itu ya? emang kaya gitu sih kosannya
mau ampe kapan nih rencananya? *padahal diri sendiri jg blm tau mau ampe kpn di bandung :D

Arres mengatakan...

iyaa mbak tyas... aku masih ngurus-ngurusin legalisir sih :( tapi minggu ini orangtuaku kesini ambil sisa-sisa barang di kosan sih, abis itu baru bener2 cabut.. mungkin sebelum idul adha.

emang kosan ini emang terkenal ga jelas gitu yaa? huhu

mbak juga semangat yaaa... sesama baru lulus dan mencari tujuan hidup hehe~

ranuhe mengatakan...

waaa, minggu depan dong

iya res, dl sering kesitu, ada tmen yg nge-kos disana, seperti itulah...

ayooo...semangat buat kitaaaa